Alia Bhatt is just like Jesus

DNA and Hindustan Times had this headline today and the title of this topic is the first thought that came to mind.

Alia Bhatt is Jesus

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

As some of you might know, Jesus was able to turn water into wine.

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

According to Ranbir in this DNA article, Aloo Paratha is able to turn water to sherbat, which is basically the Indian version of wine without alcohol. Someone please alert the priest, the return of Jesus is here!

Alia Bhatt is Jesus

When any of you guys get to meet Aloo, don’t bother taking a selfie with her, just bring your bottle of water and have her turn it into a delicious bottle of sherbat; it will go well with your aloo paratha! Don’t forget to kiss her hand first, y’all. She’s the female Jesus, after all!

Aside from turning water to sherbat, Raymond seems to think he was a homeless orphan person living in some dark alley before Aloo came into life and Angelina Jolied him :

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

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They have decided they will be getting married in 2020, IF that Bra-movie doesn’t flop!

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

After being in so many relationships, there’s something about Aloo that makes him so possessive about her. And oh, Kebab Jo just added the Varun Dhawan angle to their story. So just get ready, there’s more to come:

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

It seems that he is still on the Let’s Sh!t on Katrina “I hate Katrina” theme for this promotion. Clearly, being so much in love with new Jesus has not made him forget how much he hates her!

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

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Raazi is the best film ever, y’all:

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

Raazi for the Oscars 2019, y’all:

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Seriously though, this whole Ranbir-Alia thing is getting too much now. How desperate must they all be? The closer we are to the release date of ‘Sanju’, the more pathetic they are with their headlines and stories. As if, these two are falling in love for the first time! Raymond should be prescribed something for his verbal diarrhea, he’s getting out of control! Soon enough, you will hear how he has officially adopted Aloo Paratha’s cats – the same way Brad Pitt adopted Angelina Jolie’s adopted kids! Too much is too much!

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

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Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

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Found this randomly:

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

Like we mentioned before, the only reason they pushed this Raymond-Aloo love story was to give him something to talk about. And now, it’s everywhere. From Rajeev Masand to Anupama Chopra to Faridoon, the only headlines from these interviews are attached to Alia’s name. As if Ranbir himself, as a star, won’t make people interested in checking out these interviews so they need to attach it to a relevant and successful young lady.

 

To think that Ranbir was the same actor, who refused to talk about his private life or at least, he kept it private while releasing news on the sly. This reminds us of a segment years ago on AsiaToday, which was a programme on BBC. Those days, there weren’t many entertainment shows on news channels. In that programme, they had a short segment where sometimes they interview Indian actors; maybe it was 5 to 10 minutes. We remember they interviewed Deepika Padukone on the sets of ‘Break Ke Baad’. They were talking about her career and then suddenly the host told her: “Ranbir Kapoor, your boyfriend, said that he would choose a good script over you/your relationship.” The moment she said that, Deepika’s expression changed. It was surprised, shocked and sad – all rolled into one expression. Since she was very composed, she didn’t let her expression linger and straightaway, she answered: “Absolutely, I would do the same.” But there was that moment between the question and her answer, the way she reacted, that was when she probably realised that the relationship was done for. They broke up months after that interview.

Look at him today! He needs to talk about his alleged relationship to make sure people stand up and notice that his film is releasing. He needs to speak about his rumoured girlfriend to prevent his career from sinking deeper. How times have changed! We wonder if the same question was asked today, what would he say?

Alia Bhatt might just be Jesus

What is Sherbat/Sherbet?

For those, who don’t know what Sherbat is, it’s a cool and refreshing drink that includes milk, rose flavour or any other flavour you fancy, jelly and kiwi seeds. There is the type of Sherbat that is just a plain rose drink. The milk Sherbat is commonly served during Ramzan after the fast is broken. Like people enjoy a cold glass of Pepsi or Coca Cola, others prefer a nice Sherbat.

Alia Bhatt is the new Jesus

Alia Bhatt is the new Jesus

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44 Responses

  1. sharuna says:

    admin i just read somewhere ranbir saying that relationship is new and i don’t want to make it a circus” i would like to tell him” really but you are doing just that and making a horrendous circus”. admin is this guy hallucinating or is he on some heavy doses of …..?

    • Leaps says:

      Oh kjo/Alia/Ranbir wanted a circus and they got one which will continue thanks to tabloids and Alia/rk will go on talking about how media invades their privacy too much bs. Now after weeks of PR overload and Sanju promotions are done Ranbir suddenly starts saying oh I won’t talk about it how convenient .

      Alia/Varun/ on the sets of kalank while Ranbir gets jealous and rk/Alia having fun on the sets of their next is what you will see now.the overdose of rk/Alia will start a while before bhramastra release.

  2. ROFL! i swear this is the only sensible bolly site out there. all the others are gushing over this nonsense smh…i mean lets look at what he’s said so far:

    “old tricks become new again” “let it cook for a bit” “alia is flowing” “water tastes like sherbet”

    he actually sounds completely high. there is nothing else that makes sense. i think the years of have degenerated his brain cells.

    • GuetG says:

      Oh wait for it to get bad they are increasing love scenes between the two in bhramastra .
      Well being high on drugs can only fry your barin cells given the nonsense these two talk they are match made

  3. Nidhi says:

    Ranbir is so annoying and manipulating
    He is a cheater
    He is an overhyped actor
    Karan Johar and his team manipulates the media and there is a constant brainwash about ranbir that he is a great actor

    I do not think he is a good human being. I like this place oneshotoneplace compared to other Bollywood sites. I hope this site gets popular and the readers here are very intelligent and no nonsense people. I am glad that I came across this site through one of the Crazens.

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  4. sharuna says:

    Outrageous, i find this article the same as PC saying i will have babies in another ten years yeah yeah, your biological clock is already ticking, and well well well, Akshay Kumar saying, we must respect our actresses more. My foot.

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  5. nefarious says:

    @Admin: could you possibly share the video link to โ€œRanbir Kapoor, your boyfriend, said that he would choose a good script over you/your relationship.โ€ The moment she said that, Deepikaโ€™s expression changed. It was surprised, shocked and sad โ€“.
    I d like to catch a glimpse of that epic moment. I am sure DP was holding on to the last threads of that relationship, she prolly knew deep inside, he was gonna leave

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    • Admin says:

      Tried to find it, it’s not online. It was a segment on TV and in those days, the internet was not happening yet. Maybe BBC will add it to its online library later on.

  6. NewGirl says:

    Cโ€™mon admin! It was a joke.

    I saw that interview with anupama. It is within the first minute he said that about love and not Alia Bhatt.

  7. Universal says:

    This is getting more cringeworthy than KRK movies.

  8. Humpty Dumpty says:

    gangedi’s career will be doomed and admin please expose neetu kapoor too her lesbian affairs and all waiting for gangedi’s side of the family to be exposed before everyone

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    • Admin says:

      Oh come on, we are not here to do exposes…It’s not fair to put an old lady in this spot. Besides, whether she’s gay or straight, it’s her private life. It’s not that easy to live with a man like Rishi, so her lashing out in different ways is understandable.

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  9. Anonymous says:

    what an entitled brat! Karma is going to get him good and finish him. To go around talking so poorly about women who loved him and use them to stay in news. He probably deserves Alia because she knows to play the game and probably better at it since she is an industry kid. Deepika came from an upper middle class simple family and did not know what she was getting into with this guy. Granted she was not an innocent damsel because she was equally ambitious and wanted the kapoor surname to build her brand as well but somewhere she fell hard for him and paid a heavy price by falling into depression after this relationship ended. Neetu has raised this guy so poorly. He has no respect for women , emotions and relationships because he has been served everything on the platter so far. The steep fall Mr.Ranbir is not far away. You have earned so much bad karma and have no good will left.

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    • yuri says:

      Donโ€™t give Ranbir that much credit for Deepikaโ€™s depression, itโ€™s demeaning. I think the pressure got to her when she got really popular in 2012/13 and was overworked. Anyway, Admin, your posts are hilarious. I love the gifs.

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    • Guest says:

      Exactly Ranbir Alia are like peas in a pod they deserve each other. Ranbir has used his personal life to hype himself Alia is a step ahead has used her fake life for PR.

      Neetu/rishi themselves have never treated the woman in his life with respect. Accusing them of using Ranbir for PR.its karma they are now going out of the way to show how nice they are to his gf. It’s nice for change Alia is showing them what bring used for PR really means.

  10. Monalisa says:

    We have seen the Kapoors going out of their way to act like the perfect, doting in-laws. I mean they went as low as using Ranbir’s niece to prove how real this fake relationship is. But never seen any of the Bhatts participating in this charade. Even Alia’s dad, who’s got an opinon on everything under the sun is silent about this. And here we have Rishi tweeting about his connections with the Bhatts. Alia’s mom followed Neetu on instagram only after she followed her. (Though both Alia’s sister and mother liked her pic with Ranbir she posted on instagram). There is no photo-ops with Bhatt family. Don’t they approve this or are they not ready to participate in something fake?

    Also some are saying because his family is involved it must be real and they approve the relationship. Neetu and whole family (including his grandmom and some uncles) had dinner with katrina around the the time of Bombay velvet promotion. And we know how much Neetu and Rishi liked Katrina. This family can stoop to any level to save their son’s career.

    https://indianexpress.com/article/entertainment/bollywood/ranbir-kapoor-girlfriend-katrina-kaif-enjoy-dinner-with-his-mom-neetu-kapoor

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    • leaps says:

      @monalisa it took years for kat to hangout with neetu even thn the poor girl cropped out and now kjo makes rk/alia to go from 0 to 200 mph in days and his parents jumping in on this bandwagon are true yeah sure kjo is an idiot.

      as far as alia parents go i realized hes ok with this PR tactics by alia if a man like mahesh bhatt who calims to be bindass hasnt called it out by now he wont call it out anytime soon he is part of that world why would he object to alia getting more hype as the next superstar. at this point i rather expect her parents to join in on this PR bandwagon

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    • Monalisa says:

      @leap Now that people noticed Bhatt family’s lack of participation we might get a photo-op tomorrow. Kat tried to bond with them but Neetu and Rishi were unwilling. But for photo-ops promotion of her son’s movie, Neetu was willing to act nice with Kat. So she will be more than willing to hangout with Alia who is from a film family.

    • Monalisa says:

      ** how much they disliked Katrina

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    • Hmmm says:

      The Bhatts are bizarre people but one thing Mahesh and Pooja are is not are fake. I can’t see them participating in this charade. If they do then they too have sunk to Kjo/Alia/Ranbir level i.e. bimbo/himbo level

    • leaps says:

      @Hmmm oh they know and are ok with this because its her choice. infact here is what pooja said about rk/alia link up

      Pooja refused to answer and said, “You got to ask Alia! You can ask me about my personal life. You cannot ask me about my sisterโ€™s personal life because I ainโ€™t telling, darling!”

      she later said, “Like I took rumours about me. What was true didnโ€™t bother me. What was not true didnโ€™t bother me. And she is a Bhatt after all, and a much-improved Bhatt in that sense. I think that this is her time in the sun. We should just let that young girl be and enjoy her life because I think she is doing her job of entertaining India and the world really well. So, what she does or does not do in her personal life is really her problem. How she chooses to lead her life is her problem. My father and me have a different approach to it. She has a different approach to it. So, I think we should just let people be who they are.”

      and the line that sums up what they think

      “How she chooses to lead her life is her problem. My father and me have a different approach to it. She has a different approach to it. So, I think we should just let people be who they are.”

    • Helen says:

      Now that’s sick! I mean one time you are all happy cosy with these girls, movie flops you release blinds about how they were not worthy of rat Kapoor so he dumped them. Can you see the level of your kandaan???? Motechintupaapa

    • Leaps says:

      @helen the Kapoor family has always blamed the women for his professional failures blaming them for influencing his professional/ personal choices and Ranbir uses this excuse to dump them. Fact is dp/Kat professional choices and their success proves they made great professional choices and it’s Ranbir who is responsible for his failures.

      To be honest dp/mk/sonam are lucky they didn’t waste years on him . Kat endured that family bad behavior for years in the hope he will marry her and it was ironically Salman who warned her that Ranbir will hurt her.

      His family accused Sonam/dp/kat for using Ranbir for pr and now look them going Gaga over Alia to hype their own son. Alia /kjo are using them for PR.

      His family blamed Kat’s past and now they are going Gaga over Alia whose father cheated on his wife and converted to another faiths to marry his second wife and keep his first wife so much for rejecting girls based on past now.

      Look at how tables have turned it’s poetic karma

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  11. Tina says:

    This boy is so cringeworthy. On a different note, your Katrina GIFS are the only place I have seen her actually act.

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  12. leaps says:

    Man now it seems like kjo/alia/rk are digging themselves into quick sand mess of PR . At this point even if they marry people will say they got married for film. people will not buy its for love. People can see through kjo/alia pr tactics. Alia has faked it so many times its insane now she is female raymond people are saying thank god sid is out of this mess.

    Alia facade of I am a fan of everyone and everyone inspires me to win over everyone fans to like her is broken esp after her PR put out article calling her the biggest female superstar of all time which is as arrogant as Raymond’s overestimated belief in his own acting.

    kjo/rk/alia are such jerks to paint kat as bad when he is the one who ran away without telling her. I am no kat fan but that girl moved on let her live.

    @admin ROFL brilliant. btw you guys gave kjo the idea of pet adoption and the brad/angie combo oh god wonder how kjo will use their life to PR hype alia/rk.

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  13. Samantha says:

    No matter how great Brahmastra is, i would NOT watch it for the sheer atrocities that KJo, Ayan, Ranbir, Alia inflicted on us with this utter utter unending nonsense, nautanki and fakeness! Its so sickening n pukeworthy that i have actually found a new respect for Katrina Kaif! (something i never thot i would say).

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    • Hmmm says:

      I’m sure Brahmastra will be a train wreck like jagga jasooss or Bombay velvet. Ranbir himself said its a “supernatural romantic fairy tale” which sounds like a disaster in the making. The industry people hype him up but he is totally over rated.

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    • Monalisa says:

      @hmmm In the bollywood hungama interview Ranbir said Sanju is “new age Mahabharat.”

    • Hmmm says:

      @Monalisa ROLF!! What rubbish Ranbir speaks. Must be smoking something that killed off his one brain cell.

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    • Su says:

      @monalisa ROFL!!!!! New age mahabharat!!! LOL LOL LOL

    • Maverick says:

      Supernatural and fairy tale in one breathe? I can’t wrap my head around this.
      Choose one genre and stick to it.

  14. Venus says:

    If this goes on, next he’ll probably say “In love, farts smell like perfume” ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ PJ

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  15. sweettooth01 says:

    wow he actulie said that about his relationship to deepika..??hes clearly a jerk to say that!!!!
    so happy with the way rs treats her and the way he lloooks at her and talks abt her although its a lill extra its really adorable to give her tht kind of attention n importance..she totally deserves to be treated that welll..

    and noones even believes the shit abt rk n alia..every website tht posted his interviews,the comments section was unanimous abt how fake this is..he doesnt look confident anymore and lacks energy..his body language reminds me of arjun kapoor smhw..laid back n lazy n disinterested..but rk is talented maybe sanju has a good “fictious” script to revive his career..

    i forgot how breathtaking angelina jolie and brad pitt looked a while ago..damn!!thanks for including them here n brightening up the day

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  16. Hmmm says:

    Make it stop! So tired of this PR crap. Ranbir always hypes up the woman he is with to the point of stupidity. Remember when he said Katrina is the best actress?! Now Raazi is the best movie ever! A dumb, annoying man.

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  17. NightGlory says:

    My take on whatever I read in this article:
    1. Dear India Today, BJP-PDP break is a HUGE issue, and you instead decided to give cover page to Sanju-Ranbo?! #priorities
    2. Even in the most screwed up households where they get the girl married immediately when she confesses to having a BF, the time they take is way more than RK-Aloo relationship timeline. He just accepted it around 10 days back. Itni jaldi shaadi aur bacche kaise decide ho gaye?
    3. Alia is the best thing that happened to the movies? How did he even manage to gulp his own ego that ‘he’ is the best? And what about his stellar grandfather Raj Kapoor? Public is not that stupid to not understand fake praise, you know
    4. Raazi was a good film, no doubt. But it was in no way an exceptional film. No tear-jerking moments, and the movie was also very long. In fact given the age of the Bollywood industry, ALL movies should be of this level. It just sets the baseline standards, and does not achieve any milestone.
    5. Water tasting like Sherbet? Ranbir, are you sure it’s not the drugs? You know pyaar mein itna koi kho nahi jata ki paani sherbet jaisa taste kare.
    6. He might be possessive about Aloo. Who will not be possessive of their money and wealth-minting machine?

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  18. goldengirl says:

    Is sanju and ayan movie is that bad? too much of love and RK Alia talk is sickening and sounds fake as well. What is he doing?

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  19. Leela says:

    I know its normal for celebs to be in a PR relationship to stay in the news but alia and RK are OVER DOING IT. We all know its fake. Its so unlike of him to take part of this though, lol he must be sooooo desperate.
    And wow I never knew he said that about his relationship with Deepika. Makes me wonder why Deepika got his initials tattooed on her neck if he was such a jerk. Katrina and Deepika deserved better…

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    • Letstry says:

      Surely she did that before. Omg he was so horrible to her tho. No wonder she got that depression phase. Imagine loving someone that much and him constantly make you feels like shit. Especially she was young and trying to find herself. She must have feel like nothing. This is heartbreaking. Sad for Kat too. I hope he is changed otherwise Alia will never recover as she is even younger.




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    • Universal says:

      Alia is no saint in this game. I won’t be surprised if these two end up marrying. It will be a perfect arrangement for both. PR when needed, going off track when needed.

    • guest says:

      @Universal of course not alia is very ambitious she knows what he wants and knows how to get it with her naive act she is having the last laugh. The knows exactly what she has gotten herself into with this PR stunt she is already bff’s with ayan. the question is how far is she willing to go for it. I mean the woman want to be called the greatest superstar of all time.

      Alia is not ranbir’s type he dates hot girl, outsider all of them have been good public speakers and have poise, Alia matches none of this but her marrying ranbir will add to her appeal as the woman who tamed the ultimate Casanova and not to mention she will be the kapoor bahu .

      Given mahesh bhatts life she might be open to any kind of marriage and an open would be one that suits ranbir, both use personal life for PR so will use each other. match made.

      varun only uses PR tactics when doing a movie with dharma else hes isnt a fan of it. Alia’a fakeness might be a major reason why varun parents arent keen on alia . he will marry natasha

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  20. Zara says:

    From lame , now it is sounding pathetic. Audience doesnโ€™t care about how sherbati your gf is. If ur movie is good we would watch it anyway.

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    • leaps says:

      @Zara exactly look at pari / arjun friendship on their film sets that people appreciate more thn this mess

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