The Golden Kela Awards are held every year now, with no stars attending except for the graceful Sonam Kapoor, who went and collect her award for ‘Mausam’. It’s fun, these awards, but I think they should really draw in the worst of the worst, not the good of the worst. Let’s face it, this year we have lots of commercial films, but we didn’t have that many performance worthy roles. So, the choices are not that good for the Golden Kela Awards. Still, let’s see who made it. My choice, as usual, is in bold.

 

Golden Kela Awards 2013 Nominations

 

Worst Actor (Male) in Bollywood

Ajay Devgn: Son Of Sardar and Bol Bachchan

Imran Khan: Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu

Sanjay Dutt: Agneepath

Akshay Kumar: Housefull 2, Rowdy Rathore, Joker and Khiladi 786

Siddharth Malhotra and Varun Dhawan: Student Of The Year

 

Worst Actor (Female) in Bollywood

Anushka Sharma: Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Sonakshi Sinha: For everything She Did

Deepika Padukone and Diana Penty: Cocktail

Farah Khan: Shirin Farhad Ki Nikal Padi

Alia Bhatt: Student Of The Year

 

Worst Film in Bollywood

Housefull 2: For being way more full (of bad jokes, poor acting, horrible writing and cast members) than we could take.

Son Of Sardar: For being offensive…not just to the Sikh community, but to anyone with intelligence and a sense of humour.

Khiladi 786: For (among other reasons) being written by the ‘multi-talented genius’ known as Himesh Reshammiya.

Dabangg 2: For not being Dabangg.

Jab Tak Hai Jaan: For being so bad that we’d rather forget its existence than live on with the knowledge that this was the last film Yash Chopra made.

Joker: For being one of the worst films ever made…anywhere.

 

Most Irritating Song in Bollywood

For playing incessantly on radio, on TV, in cars, bars and discos; getting stuck in our heads and refusing to leave.

Chinta ta Chita Chita (Rowdy Rathore)

Son of Sardar (Son of Sardar)

Anarkali Disco Chali (Housefull 2)

Disco Deewane (Student Of The Year)

Hookah Bar (Khiladi 786)

Most Atrocious Lyrics in Bollywood

Anvita Dutt: Ishq wala Love (Student of the Year)

Amitabh Bhattacharya: Halkat Jawani (Heroine)

Shabbir Ahmed: Bipasha Bipasha ( Jodi Breakers)

Shabbir Ahmed: Po Po (Son Of Sardar)

Sameer Anjaan: Chinta Ta Chita Chita (Rowdy Rathore)

Himesh Reshammiya: Hookah Bar (Khiladi 786)

 

‘Baawra Ho Gaya Hai Ke’ Award in Bollywood

Homi Adjania: For following up Being Cyrus with Cocktail. We had expectations from you, Homi.

Sanjay Khandvi: For taking his own awesome Ek Chaalis Ki Last Local, setting it in Delhi and making Kismat Love Paisa Dilli… and doing a horrible job of it.

Ali Azmat: For sounding like a parody of his former self in the song Maula from Jism 2.

Indian Moviegoers: For spending more than 600 crores on Bol Bachchan, Housefull 2, Agneepath, Rowdy Rathore and Ek Tha Tiger, Khiladi 786, Dabangg 2.